i am sick!!! argh!!! i hate it when i have to be sick......there is precisely nothing much to do...cant eat ice cream...cant play in the rain...cant pamper myself..cant indulge on the food that i crave for...cant read books and do things that i enjoy doing..and the worse feeling is when at this point of time where i really need some one by my side badly to care and show me their genuine love every1 seems to be busy with some1 or something else but not me....haiz..i feel so helpless..the feeling is tremendously pricking to the heart...tasneem is so lonely!...i dont know what to do?, where to go?...as it is there is so many things running in my mind...on top of that the discomfort that i am facing due to the pain...at this point of time i wish i am able to close my eyes tight and dissappear from every1 sight...after all who cares if i am gone...while typing my thoughts...i feel that what ever that i am feeling right now i am not alone...this is something new in my life in which i am facing as a young lady for the 1st time but what about millions of old folk around the world in the nursing homes....what must they be feeling to be having life without their love onces by their side? not for a year or two in fact up to a decade...the thought of it tears just flow out from my eyes...its so painful! isnt it?

i count myself lucky but at the same time i am determine to bring a ray of light and hope in their lives...even thought i am aware that i am not able to do much..but at least the little things that i do will make an impact in their hearts...i hope that my presence in their lives would bring a smile on their face...everyday i pray to allah to grand me this priceless wish where by i am able to care for them in their worst times...but i wonder when will my this wish ever come true...i want it..my friends think that i am silly enough to have such thoughts at a very young age where by its time for me to enjoy my life with my friends...going out and have lots of fun..making new friends of the same age...etc..its just simply a waste of my time...what i call as happiness is when i am able to put my dear once as a priority before myself...i just feel good..its something like when i see them smile and they thank me for what i do...i feel so good inside...there is no words to describe how good i felt...

just look at her...she's blind yet look at her charming smile..masyallah isnt it priceless...what she might have when thru in her life? the ups and the downs? she must have had a very happy family....but then her family might have rejected her...still look at the glow of happiness at her face despite all...

this is what i want...i want jaan and myself to love each other, care for each other,be by each other side together as 1 soul and two bodies..i want to be behind all your success...insyallah we'll tell our grandchilden how much we mean to each other...Ameen...