i am sick!!! argh!!! i hate it when i have to be sick......there is precisely nothing much to do...cant eat ice cream...cant play in the rain...cant pamper myself..cant indulge on the food that i crave for...cant read books and do things that i enjoy doing..and the worse feeling is when at this point of time where i really need some one by my side badly to care and show me their genuine love every1 seems to be busy with some1 or something else but not me....haiz..i feel so helpless..the feeling is tremendously pricking to the heart...tasneem is so lonely!...i dont know what to do?, where to go?...as it is there is so many things running in my mind...on top of that the discomfort that i am facing due to the pain...at this point of time i wish i am able to close my eyes tight and dissappear from every1 sight...after all who cares if i am gone...while typing my thoughts...i feel that what ever that i am feeling right now i am not alone...this is something new in my life in which i am facing as a young lady for the 1st time but what about millions of old folk around the world in the nursing homes....what must they be feeling to be having life without their love onces by their side? not for a year or two in fact up to a decade...the thought of it tears just flow out from my eyes...its so painful! isnt it?

i count myself lucky but at the same time i am determine to bring a ray of light and hope in their lives...even thought i am aware that i am not able to do much..but at least the little things that i do will make an impact in their hearts...i hope that my presence in their lives would bring a smile on their face...everyday i pray to allah to grand me this priceless wish where by i am able to care for them in their worst times...but i wonder when will my this wish ever come true...i want it..my friends think that i am silly enough to have such thoughts at a very young age where by its time for me to enjoy my life with my friends...going out and have lots of fun..making new friends of the same age...etc..its just simply a waste of my time...what i call as happiness is when i am able to put my dear once as a priority before myself...i just feel good..its something like when i see them smile and they thank me for what i do...i feel so good inside...there is no words to describe how good i felt...

just look at her...she's blind yet look at her charming smile..masyallah isnt it priceless...what she might have when thru in her life? the ups and the downs? she must have had a very happy family....but then her family might have rejected her...still look at the glow of happiness at her face despite all...

this is what i want...i want jaan and myself to love each other, care for each other,be by each other side together as 1 soul and two bodies..i want to be behind all your success...insyallah we'll tell our grandchilden how much we mean to each other...Ameen...

When you are in close proximity with other human being there will be many a time that you will offend each other. Relationship with the other gender inevitably hurt each other from time to time. Saying "I'm sorry" are the two words that i feel i should say to him to repair my relationship. Without apologies the bad feelings are allowed to grow and i dont wish for it to happen because i treasure the man by the name musa very much too much in fact therefore... i put my guards down and admit that i may have made a mistake."I am extremely sorry for what i may have said to have make you very mad at me...something for real is that you know that i dont mean to have hurt you a lot...it just happen..."

MuShEy2..

"Jaan if my love for you were water, it would be as vast as an ocean."
"Forever is not a word...rather a place where you and i go when we take them there."
" Our love story doesn't have a happy ending because true love story doesn't end."
"I never knew what love was until I met the charming guy musa in malabar, then when distance pulled us apart, I found out what true love is."
"You are my soulmate, my sweetheart, you are my dream come true, from now until the end of time where i have to go back to Allah I give my heart and soul to you only to the one and only musa the darling...
True love is something that we share ... a journey that takes us a lifetime to complete."
"My love for you has no depth, its boudaries are ever expanding. My love and my life with you will be a never ending story."
"I have loved you all my life my dream man musa it has just taken me this long to find you."

The most sexiest and macho man belongs to me....

ehem2! by the way tatz mrs musa for you...

Thatz how happy i am went i am with my hubby! all smilez! Eeeee!
I will alwaez be musa's baby

A day that is engraved in my heart...140109

I went out with hubby on the fridae had lotsa fun with him..shopping eating bagera and bagera...so yor...reach home like about 10 plus...after which he came to my house...amijaan and abbu start toking to jaan....tok and tok and tok.....booh! its 5 in the morning....cant believe my eyes that he actuali stayed longer then ever just for me thout he's sick..aww!! sshhoo shuet!! muah!! thanks jaan for the gift as well as the time which you spend with me...i treasure all the moments that we had spend together i swear its a memory that will stay with me for a life time...and indeed its a priceless one...

Zzzz...

Woke up for my subuh prayer todae like alwaez..was unable to sleep thought...i am pissed, angry, furious....i sat patiently on the praying mat...thinking..dhikir..reflecting...everything happens for a reason either it is known or hidden from the human point of view. ...as it is i m so blessed...he gave me everything that i ask sincerely..even to the extend of giving me a man that is indeed so special...maybe what i am going thru now is a test from almighty allah ...maybe he wants to make my iman stronger..maybe he wants to test our relationship as of how true we are to each other..maybe allah wants to see how much i love allah by being patient and istiqha'mah in my dhua...maybe he wants me to see jaan in a diffrent point of view...after what happen just now...i promise in the name of allah that ..i was totally touched by what he said...he move me to tears...he make me so special in his eyes...he makes everything look and feel easy when i am with him...he calm my senses by reassuring me that he'll deal with the torns in my heart..n most importantly he make me feel that i have made the right desicion to be with him...i just love him...

psst...jaan if ure reading my blog..i just gotta sey to u that i need you to hold my hands tightly and never to let go of me forever....i am a girl that needs you by my side to make me a stronger person to face up to our obstacles together...