Monday, March 23, 2009

Enjoying...weee....

Hehehex...actually i really enjoyed myself without jaan i thought its going to be a disaster and a boring day but indeed it was all proven wrong.....really i feel like its been long since i felt like this so i decided to switch off my phone i wanted no disturbence for the next few days....on that sunday after work i was dragging myself home to doll up and i have no idea why but i know myself that i look superb..i was thinking if i cant resist looking at myself at the mirror what would i expect from others...hmmmm...hahahax...but then it was fun thout went all eyes was on me and i was like wateva i know i am beautiful...hehehex....Seriously all my crazy cuzzins was like "hey gorgeous miss you darling"...keke..i was smiling like nobody's business...of course la...i am wanted la sey...and like standard once my cuzzins and i meet up thats it...its gonna be fun..fun..and more fun!...especially at the dance floor you just got to look at naeem and shahirah and ehem2 i was not bad either...we dance like no one was watching plus the music was just to hard to resist.....hariz was good at his bangra move 2..hahax...then of course the day have to come to an end...eee...bluekx! so yeap that nite i was just thinking about all the fun thing that happen at the wedding...i love you peepz..and thankz k for all the ehem2..you know i know thing...will be looking forward for more cuzzinz outing...

Today i started work at 10....the day was smooth...and guess what seriously man the doctors in ED are 1 nice human being i tell you...they share money for all the nurses to buy us 1 flat screen plasma tv and ice creams to show us how much they treasure our help...i mean how sweet is that...i had fun today as well...and btw thanks firdaus for that treat...hehex...i own you 1 treat as well....later at about 4 plus sister page for me...to send a patient to SGH...i was all exited to go...like duh! go there as a nurse was 1 proud thing...all eyes was on me again like always...but the best part was to be sitting in the ambulance..it was my 1st time...eeee...gerek! felt like a VIP...all the vehicles was making way for us...hahax...so then after work today i went for facial...and then off to the gym...saw farhan...he was like looking at me with his mouth open...crazy fellow...the 1st thing that came out from his mouth was" looking as beautiful as ever"..hayo!....but the best part of all is i get to eat fish and chips at swensens after a long fatigue day...gosh! i tell you i was really satistfied...every sensation of the food in my mouth was just mamamiya...hahahax...

So about tommorow...i guess i want to go for a swim....after all its been long since i have been swimming...my goal is to swim as far as possible off the shore...i know i will accomplish my goal...insyallah..till then let me go and grab a bite with my lovely family after which later we are going to watch jaani dushman....weeeee.....

Friday, March 20, 2009

Never felt this hurt before...

Well what can i say..been busy..especially TTSH ED OMG! but then suprsingly alhamdulilah...i am lovin it..i love my job..hehex..so yeap today's my off day like after a solid 9 days of werking like siau! finally rest day la sey.....life is totally diffrent now for me...like so totally...i wish i can reverse the clock to my school days...everything is going at a very fast and intense pase and its like there is so little time left...haiz! there are so many things in my head...its all in a total mess...i am just SUPER DUPER STRESS!!!! allah help me...something happen just now...i dont wish to touch on it...but definitely i noe that i did something stupid...i walk all the way from the sembawang park to my house...half way thru my journey i stopped at makmur mosque..to pray maghrib...i just felt that i wanted to talk to allah so much...he knows me the best...only he can guide me in my thoughts...i miss allah..
i am at lost of words for a moment...i am thinking about jaan...it hurts me so terribly much its as if he took a gun and shoot me..when he say that i make him cry twice and that i am stressing him..? did i? if i am maybe i should just go away from his life so that he'll get a peace of mind without me..maybe he mean to say that he's sick and tired of me...am i a bad girl? did i hurt him that much? for him to tell such piercing words to me...i am dissapointed...was it my fault that i really wanted some time on my own..? was it my fault that i wonder about alone @ Sembawang park...am i not a big girl dont i know how to take care of myself...dont i deserve to have fun on my own just like how i used too...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009