SpIcEbErry

2009-04-18T05:47:00.000-07:00

At 18 going on 19 i realise that life is not a bed of roses after all...everything that happen here happens for a reason....sit back and think...my life is like a book that has already been written and stamp by allah even before i was even part of it...i am just an individual that have to be in that big picture to finish up the play...no doubt..i choose what i want..but still there are many other things that happen beyond our control...what i choose today effects what happen tomorrow...choices are simply endless...i have no 1 to blame....it was all mend to happen...think positive...and move on..its after all about the clock that goes...tik..tik..tik...isn'it...yes! i am not at my best state of mind now...there are seriously tooo many things that is going on ...the brown line is i just dont wish to touch on it plus i guess despite the fact that i am at my worst ...i am still happy...this special some1 of mind...he make me feel that i am not alone in this battle...he make me realize that he will always be with me just like my shadow...the most surprising thing that i can ever imagine is that he accept me for who i am entirely...after seeing tasneem at her worst...he is still here for me...just what is he made up of? i wonder...i swear that i had never came across any1 like him before...he make the world of disney and bollywood so alive in our relationship...i feel that i am in a land where there is only musa and myself...no1 can ever imagine that musa will ever do such sweet things for me...he do things so naturally...he knows what i need...how i feel...what i want...he knows that i am not perfect but still he's love for me is for internity....

Enjoying...weee....

2009-03-23T05:19:00.000-07:00

Hehehex...actually i really enjoyed myself without jaan i thought its going to be a disaster and a boring day but indeed it was all proven wrong.....really i feel like its been long since i felt like this so i decided to switch off my phone i wanted no disturbence for the next few days....on that sunday after work i was dragging myself home to doll up and i have no idea why but i know myself that i look superb..i was thinking if i cant resist looking at myself at the mirror what would i expect from others...hmmmm...hahahax...but then it was fun thout went all eyes was on me and i was like wateva i know i am beautiful...hehehex....Seriously all my crazy cuzzins was like "hey gorgeous miss you darling"...keke..i was smiling like nobody's business...of course la...i am wanted la sey...and like standard once my cuzzins and i meet up thats it...its gonna be fun..fun..and more fun!...especially at the dance floor you just got to look at naeem and shahirah and ehem2 i was not bad either...we dance like no one was watching plus the music was just to hard to resist.....hariz was good at his bangra move 2..hahax...then of course the day have to come to an end...eee...bluekx! so yeap that nite i was just thinking about all the fun thing that happen at the wedding...i love you peepz..and thankz k for all the ehem2..you know i know thing...will be looking forward for more cuzzinz outing...

Today i started work at 10....the day was smooth...and guess what seriously man the doctors in ED are 1 nice human being i tell you...they share money for all the nurses to buy us 1 flat screen plasma tv and ice creams to show us how much they treasure our help...i mean how sweet is that...i had fun today as well...and btw thanks firdaus for that treat...hehex...i own you 1 treat as well....later at about 4 plus sister page for me...to send a patient to SGH...i was all exited to go...like duh! go there as a nurse was 1 proud thing...all eyes was on me again like always...but the best part was to be sitting in the ambulance..it was my 1st time...eeee...gerek! felt like a VIP...all the vehicles was making way for us...hahax...so then after work today i went for facial...and then off to the gym...saw farhan...he was like looking at me with his mouth open...crazy fellow...the 1st thing that came out from his mouth was" looking as beautiful as ever"..hayo!....but the best part of all is i get to eat fish and chips at swensens after a long fatigue day...gosh! i tell you i was really satistfied...every sensation of the food in my mouth was just mamamiya...hahahax...

So about tommorow...i guess i want to go for a swim....after all its been long since i have been swimming...my goal is to swim as far as possible off the shore...i know i will accomplish my goal...insyallah..till then let me go and grab a bite with my lovely family after which later we are going to watch jaani dushman....weeeee.....

Never felt this hurt before...

2009-03-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

Well what can i say..been busy..especially TTSH ED OMG! but then suprsingly alhamdulilah...i am lovin it..i love my job..hehex..so yeap today's my off day like after a solid 9 days of werking like siau! finally rest day la sey.....life is totally diffrent now for me...like so totally...i wish i can reverse the clock to my school days...everything is going at a very fast and intense pase and its like there is so little time left...haiz! there are so many things in my head...its all in a total mess...i am just SUPER DUPER STRESS!!!! allah help me...something happen just now...i dont wish to touch on it...but definitely i noe that i did something stupid...i walk all the way from the sembawang park to my house...half way thru my journey i stopped at makmur mosque..to pray maghrib...i just felt that i wanted to talk to allah so much...he knows me the best...only he can guide me in my thoughts...i miss allah..

i am at lost of words for a moment...i am thinking about jaan...it hurts me so terribly much its as if he took a gun and shoot me..when he say that i make him cry twice and that i am stressing him..? did i? if i am maybe i should just go away from his life so that he'll get a peace of mind without me..maybe he mean to say that he's sick and tired of me...am i a bad girl? did i hurt him that much? for him to tell such piercing words to me...i am dissapointed...was it my fault that i really wanted some time on my own..? was it my fault that i wonder about alone @ Sembawang park...am i not a big girl dont i know how to take care of myself...dont i deserve to have fun on my own just like how i used too...

2009-03-11T08:26:00.001-07:00

Make a Smilebox photobook

2009-02-06T04:16:00.000-08:00

masyallah! yesterday was my 6 month anniversary with my love...how this 6 months have fly...tell me all about it...its just simply superb! i really enjoyed ever moment that i have spend with him...dating..eating...sharing thoughts...exchanging ideas..getting to know more about he and his family..day by day the feeling is growing..yes without doubt there were times where there were our upz and downz but isnt this part and parcel of all relationship..what matter is we promise each other that we'll be by each other's side with allah swt blessing..and that we'll grow strong together...what i can tell for sure is that i had the most fantastic time whenever i am with jaan...he will always come up with something to make me happy..it feels as if he plug those beautiful shiny stars from the sky especially for his baby girl...the feeling where by it comes only when i am with musa the 1 and only man for tasneem...there are alot of new things that i discover about my hubby while we are still dating...i learn that he is a very sincere man, he is willing to go to the extra mile for me and the people he love...an honest man with a very charming smile...discipline when it comes to something important... dedicate about islam, very ambitious about our future..something that i love about him so much is that he is super patient even when i guess he is able to flare up with me sometimes thank allah he is not the hot tempered type..hahaha..., relax most of the time but serious when he have too, he makes everything around us very comfortable for me...love him lotz!

2009-02-01T03:03:00.001-08:00

I had lotsa fun with jaan and shaheen especially shaheen bhaijaan here and there..hahaha.. ....went to changi village for lunch...after which hit to changi beach and to changi airport...hahaha...it was in fact a changi day for uz...here are some of the picz we took...enjoy...

Purely candid! shaheen caugh him looking at me when i was teaching him..sho shweet

nice..yum2!

...1 of jaan's creative photoshot of me....

2009-02-01T01:56:00.001-08:00

Wow!! seriously...i feel so blessed...allah swt gave me friends that are 1 in a million what else can i ask for..they make my ITE daez a very memorable event in my life...i am happy to the fact that all my friends are very special...they care and love me just like their very own...what i can say now is that i miss them so much! i wonder when will be the next time i can get to hug and kiss them talk, laugh and joke with them like how we did before..definitely things must have change now...with so many spicy storeys from all of us..but seriously the thing is that i want you pple back in my life...but life is changing...cant expect things to be like before..where we dont think about our tomorrow and what matters was our present and fun we had...now i am pity sure more or less we are having some kind of responsibility...responsibility of moulding our future...responsibility of our special onces..etc...something for sure...for my part..so long as my heart is beating and i am still breathing you pple will alwaez be my special group of friends...friends who supported me in whatever i do...and all the encouragement and advise that you pple have given me..its just to wonderful....

I miss my crazy bunch of friends....

Especially tiz crazy partner of mine....

hahaha..fatin was really gonna throw me in the bin....

Our past time during Bio class...mmuakx!

Thanks for making me like a princess of the day...haha..with the clothes and make up...

2009-01-25T23:17:00.000-08:00

i am sick!!! argh!!! i hate it when i have to be sick......there is precisely nothing much to do...cant eat ice cream...cant play in the rain...cant pamper myself..cant indulge on the food that i crave for...cant read books and do things that i enjoy doing..and the worse feeling is when at this point of time where i really need some one by my side badly to care and show me their genuine love every1 seems to be busy with some1 or something else but not me....haiz..i feel so helpless..the feeling is tremendously pricking to the heart...tasneem is so lonely!...i dont know what to do?, where to go?...as it is there is so many things running in my mind...on top of that the discomfort that i am facing due to the pain...at this point of time i wish i am able to close my eyes tight and dissappear from every1 sight...after all who cares if i am gone...while typing my thoughts...i feel that what ever that i am feeling right now i am not alone...this is something new in my life in which i am facing as a young lady for the 1st time but what about millions of old folk around the world in the nursing homes....what must they be feeling to be having life without their love onces by their side? not for a year or two in fact up to a decade...the thought of it tears just flow out from my eyes...its so painful! isnt it?

i count myself lucky but at the same time i am determine to bring a ray of light and hope in their lives...even thought i am aware that i am not able to do much..but at least the little things that i do will make an impact in their hearts...i hope that my presence in their lives would bring a smile on their face...everyday i pray to allah to grand me this priceless wish where by i am able to care for them in their worst times...but i wonder when will my this wish ever come true...i want it..my friends think that i am silly enough to have such thoughts at a very young age where by its time for me to enjoy my life with my friends...going out and have lots of fun..making new friends of the same age...etc..its just simply a waste of my time...what i call as happiness is when i am able to put my dear once as a priority before myself...i just feel good..its something like when i see them smile and they thank me for what i do...i feel so good inside...there is no words to describe how good i felt...

just look at her...she's blind yet look at her charming smile..masyallah isnt it priceless...what she might have when thru in her life? the ups and the downs? she must have had a very happy family....but then her family might have rejected her...still look at the glow of happiness at her face despite all...

this is what i want...i want jaan and myself to love each other, care for each other,be by each other side together as 1 soul and two bodies..i want to be behind all your success...insyallah we'll tell our grandchilden how much we mean to each other...Ameen...

2009-01-24T05:59:00.000-08:00

When you are in close proximity with other human being there will be many a time that you will offend each other. Relationship with the other gender inevitably hurt each other from time to time. Saying "I'm sorry" are the two words that i feel i should say to him to repair my relationship. Without apologies the bad feelings are allowed to grow and i dont wish for it to happen because i treasure the man by the name musa very much too much in fact therefore... i put my guards down and admit that i may have made a mistake."I am extremely sorry for what i may have said to have make you very mad at me...something for real is that you know that i dont mean to have hurt you a lot...it just happen..."

MuShEy2..

2009-01-15T03:39:00.000-08:00

"Jaan if my love for you were water, it would be as vast as an ocean."
"Forever is not a word...rather a place where you and i go when we take them there."
" Our love story doesn't have a happy ending because true love story doesn't end."
"I never knew what love was until I met the charming guy musa in malabar, then when distance pulled us apart, I found out what true love is."
"You are my soulmate, my sweetheart, you are my dream come true, from now until the end of time where i have to go back to Allah I give my heart and soul to you only to the one and only musa the darling...
True love is something that we share ... a journey that takes us a lifetime to complete."
"My love for you has no depth, its boudaries are ever expanding. My love and my life with you will be a never ending story."
"I have loved you all my life my dream man musa it has just taken me this long to find you."

The most sexiest and macho man belongs to me....

ehem2! by the way tatz mrs musa for you...

Thatz how happy i am went i am with my hubby! all smilez! Eeeee!
I will alwaez be musa's baby

A day that is engraved in my heart...140109

2009-01-11T05:55:00.000-08:00

I went out with hubby on the fridae had lotsa fun with him..shopping eating bagera and bagera...so yor...reach home like about 10 plus...after which he came to my house...amijaan and abbu start toking to jaan....tok and tok and tok.....booh! its 5 in the morning....cant believe my eyes that he actuali stayed longer then ever just for me thout he's sick..aww!! sshhoo shuet!! muah!! thanks jaan for the gift as well as the time which you spend with me...i treasure all the moments that we had spend together i swear its a memory that will stay with me for a life time...and indeed its a priceless one...

Zzzz...

2009-01-03T03:53:00.000-08:00

Woke up for my subuh prayer todae like alwaez..was unable to sleep thought...i am pissed, angry, furious....i sat patiently on the praying mat...thinking..dhikir..reflecting...everything happens for a reason either it is known or hidden from the human point of view. ...as it is i m so blessed...he gave me everything that i ask sincerely..even to the extend of giving me a man that is indeed so special...maybe what i am going thru now is a test from almighty allah ...maybe he wants to make my iman stronger..maybe he wants to test our relationship as of how true we are to each other..maybe allah wants to see how much i love allah by being patient and istiqha'mah in my dhua...maybe he wants me to see jaan in a diffrent point of view...after what happen just now...i promise in the name of allah that ..i was totally touched by what he said...he move me to tears...he make me so special in his eyes...he makes everything look and feel easy when i am with him...he calm my senses by reassuring me that he'll deal with the torns in my heart..n most importantly he make me feel that i have made the right desicion to be with him...i just love him...

psst...jaan if ure reading my blog..i just gotta sey to u that i need you to hold my hands tightly and never to let go of me forever....i am a girl that needs you by my side to make me a stronger person to face up to our obstacles together...

when life is tough, i'll be tougher

2008-12-09T05:24:00.000-08:00

kkks....not gonna tok anything about yesterdae...terrible horrible sambal belachan!..bluekz!...Tasneem only remember pleasent events and pple in her life anything crappy nonsenstical and heart pain stuff are not remembered by me...ooppzzz..sowee blueberri pies....i juz guess that i have no time for bolux!...life's short live life where theres alwaez happy events and exciting things to think about and doing ibadah todae like theres no tomorrow!...so yoha! OMG! the thought tat i m gonna graduate in like 3 daez is driving me nuts, sugar and salt....ULALA!!! hahahax...A n E here i come...broom3!...like real! waddah! i njoy duin and saying things that make me happy even when circumstances is such that i m not suppose to...i can be serious when i have to but i prefer to be jovial and optimistic about dealing with my daily stressors...tasneem cant lead her life complaining and being grumpy about y things r like that n like this she wuld rather accept what allah have given her...live with it with an open mind, reflect, own up her mistake if she's in wrong, and try her level best not to commit it again...for everything that tasneem owns now belongs to almighty allah from her precious baby tazzy bantal busuk..muak!to her darlyk love once...and to him shall everything returns....thats for sure...to think about what great philosopher can sey about life and the vulerability of this priceless gift to man kind....its making me go heirwire yaar!...the bottom line is that life is simple human make it complicated!

Date with jaan...

2008-12-07T07:23:00.001-08:00

Alhamdulilah....todae i got to mit jaan after a long break...i miss him like a lot!it feels so great to be spending time with him todae..i had awsome time with him...he alwaez make my dae with his cute smile.muakz!..i came a little late...oooppzzz!!!! sowee jaan....so yeap went to mamam @ burger king...then we hit off to Fort Canning Park....had the most memorable time with him serious! gave him a surprise..y i choose to give him a surprise todae...hmmm..actuali i juz felt that the love of my life have been quite stress with life recently he didnt tell me but i felt it in my heart so i thought i want jaan to feel better when he's with me...i want him to 4gt about his wuries n be happy....i hope he did njoy todaez date...after which we took a bus and woosshh! i m back...

I love tiz moments with hubby!!!

you alweaz make me love u more darlyk!

hearts jaan!

2008-12-06T04:56:00.000-08:00

Wow! spendid! cant believe my eyes that its gonna be mern 4 more daez n Woossh!! missy here missy there!...aitez...have been a few misunderstanding btween my CP group members...but well...everything is guin to come to a still...so who cares...lets just play along with this never guin to last game...i have alwaez been optimistic about everything and this time i still do....I just gotta sey to this person that...BY SAYING SORI IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK AS IF YOU ARE IN THE WRONG..ITS MORE LIKE MAKING YOU LOOK MATURE, SENSIBLE AND YOU'LL GAIN URESELF A PLACE IN AL JANNAH I AM NOT IN THE WRONG...N I FEEL I HAVE DONE MY PART...WHAT ABOUT URESELF?.....moving on...blablabla....so yeap! guess what tasneem got a compliment letter 4rm a patient sey....chey3! congrats tas...hehehex...after all everything that is done for sum1 truelly from the heart it shows in the outside....i believe in it...after finish werk yesterdae...my gerlfrends n me got all crazy in taking picz...so njoy!

PICZO!!!

i am a happy...chessecake after all...

2008-12-01T03:38:00.000-08:00

i started my morning with a wide and vibrant smile..like with my trademark..ehem2..my dimple...hehehex...whatever fight that have ever happen btwn musa n myself for the past few months was history..i am not guin to morn over it and i dont wish to dig it out...i am officially gonna start tiz relationship all over and thiz time with proper understanding and communication...i was positive and i noe i had great fun todae especially after werk...as usual we'll take the train but definitely the atmosphere in the train todae was a little diffrent..i was practically laughing almost every minute...hanis, saodah, kim, evelyn, huimin...can reali make me laugh so much that they eventuali make me cry..every1 in the train was looking at me but who cares i was just njoying every moment laughing...it feels so much better to be able to laugh tiz much todae...especially on the ehem2..joke..cannot tahan...in fact i am still laughing my lungs out while bloging nw...thankz a million...4 being there..u pple r indeed special!....wakakaka....i went out with hanis...we went causeway point we had the most CRAZIEST MOMENTS together just now!....ate Mcdonald's...n juz check out my face went i am eating...gosh! its candid by the way....i was reali enjoying every bite of the burger....hahaha...we went shopping for choz...my crazy partner was indeed crazy enough to have bough $30 worth of choz for uz to eat...AWWW!!!! she's sweet...i ate choz like there's no tomorrow...actuali sitting down with her and eating choz was some what like a relaxation therapy for me...i felt like in the other world while toking to her..all the advise that she gave me was very factual and reality base...seriously hanis thanks a lot..i owe u buddy...i am feeling much more better now....alhamdulilah....and now i feel that i am all ready to face up to any challenges that is guin to come btwn me and musa bcoz i am determine to hold on strong to our relationship no matter what...insyallah..

CRaZY Bunch Of WACky nurSES....

2008-11-30T07:10:00.000-08:00

Hehehehex...well thatz me mrs musa..ehem2...blush*...looking a little indian with the nose stud?....hmmm...LOL!...i had loads of fun at fa'atimah didi's wedding over at bencoolen mosque...its definitely a dae to remember!..i m pity sure that fa'atimah didi is indeed very excited...wow! i feel so happy for her alhamdulilah finally she is married to some1 that she reali love...in a few minz time its gonna be aba's 51st bdae....so i am solemly gonna wish aba a very happy bdae...may allah alwaez shower his blessing upon u forever and aba seriously u r the best father in the whole wide world...tasneem is so lucky to have you as her father....I LOVE YOU!...mmmuuuaaaahhhh!

oLd iS gOlD....

2008-11-27T06:01:00.000-08:00

Shall i say todae was a bomb! i didnt feel this much of happiness before for a very long time....the feeling was as if i was in my secondary school days...no worries and all fun kinda life..i still remember very vividly that i use to be sum1 that is super hyper! my life use to circulate on gym schedules, netball training, students councillor meetings and also my npcc training...i still rememember those daez where guys wuld go gaga over me despite the very fact that i was not at all bothered..i still dont understand y they wuld like me so much in fact i noe myself that i was kinda tanned in colour and frankly speaking i have no idea how to dress myself up...hahahaha...i still rememember on the 26 july 2005 it was my 15th bdae...i left malay lesson earlier on that faithful dae coz i need to get change into my jersey and be off to Singapore Sports School for a tournament...i got a...ummm...shall i say pleasent surprise from some1 that have alwaez love me sincerly in secondary school..joshuel bought me a teddy bear from his own pocket money which he save for the entire week...i was touched! when he gave me the teddy and confested that he love me at the bustop outside my school...i was stunned as i didnt wanna give him hope that i like him n stuff as i noe all a long i was being very friendly towards him becoz he was the oni guy frend that was very close to me then and was alwaez encouraging me to bring out the best in me in wateva i do..i said thank u, return the teddy back and rejected him...for the 1st time in my 15 years of life i made a guy cry for me...he was upset..some way or another the next dae he put the same teddy on my table and tiz time with a small note saying "the reason y i like u so much is bcoz ure alwaez smiling...can we still be frends?" i took the teddy and smile back at him...but then he never give up on me..that is something that i use to admire about joshuel..he is a catholic but he will go to the mosque every fridae with my malay guy frends just to impress me...n till todae he still doesnt noe that i was aware of his ways to attract my attention....the valentine dae song dedication which he made and sang especially 4 me infront of the entire school in the canteen where i was eating..choz, secret admirer love cards...u name it! hahaha...the whole entire school noes that josh likes me..teachers wuld disturb josh with me further more he sits beside me in class....hahaha...remembering such sweet event bring a wide smile on my face while passing by the same bustop that he confested...hahaha...so yeap mit up wit my netball school team mates juz now after werk while cummin back got stuck with them..ya i noe i m suppose to go badima house but mom and shaheen when out w/o me on top of that i feel that i wanted to have sumtyme on my own....they ask me out for a game....i was so excited!...it feels like ages seens i last played basketball..i went back home change n booh! off to the basketball court near my school....i took 804...while in the bus...lotsa things came in my mind...i was only thinking about how perfectly i have spend my teenage daez in that skool...frankly speaking i miss NORTHBROOKS SEC...i miss those uniform group, netball training, student councillor camps that we use to have in skool..if only i can reverse time i culd! n i wuld!...

A MiStAKe...

2008-11-26T04:06:00.000-08:00

....itz been 3 LONG!!!!! daez seens i have been having thiz living reality nightmare....how i have pull thru tiz 3 daez was a miracle...what can i say i know deep down that every single step i take to werk was like..."a living corpes"...yesterdae i was werking in the afternoon and todae murin....i was freaking tired...manage to clear all my necessary stuff as soon as i reach home....and definitely what can be an even more sweetest nite then to hear hubby husky and low base voice....his voice alwaez make me go ulalala....hahahax..that is something that i have neva tell him b4..but thatz the fact...hush2!...after putting down the phone i knock off...the next thing i noe its morning....gosh!...i cant wake up...i push myself to the toilet...reach werking place..had bfast and off to serious werk...morning shift was a bit more busy as compared to afternoon...2dae the patient was a bit more 'friendly' i have no idea y...but who cares so long as there r happy..they make me happy too....weeee!!!!....something tremendous happen ysterdae which i feel that i shuld blog my feelings about..its about tiz 'person'..i cant believe it...she's like that..i alwaez fine her nice and pleasent untill ysterdae..its truelly an eye opener 4 me, jaan alwaez tell me not to trust any1 but me being tasneem and i guess jaan was all a long rite...she backstab me..my other friends use to tell me about her attitude...but i still wuld insist that she's good...untill of course it slap me back at my cheeck..i reali2 have no idea y i ask jaan to let go of me juz now in fact i love him so much so that i cant imagine life without him and if i ever get married itz only gonna be musa and nobody else and i am very sure about it!... jaan ask me who influence me in making such foolish decision at that point of time i was totally blank i was not able to answer her...untill when i spend sometime on my own before going back home...i figured out that it was all along her move to make me break up with my love...y cant she just dhua for our happiness instead she choose to do such cheap act to sum1 that have alwaez been there for her when she needed sum1 badly?..seriously speaking i deserve it...i mean what's her problem? she wuld alwaez tell me about being single and that she got all the freedom to do whatever she wants..and whenever musa msg me she will be telling me stuff like all guys are the same la, "get a life tasneem" and she'll tell me tat its sometime better to be distance from the 1 u love..try not to msg him so much la later he'll get bored of u..blablabla etc..if she have decided to be single all her life...thats her decision..y influence me in it? ...i have made my decision to be attach to musa for the rest of my life..i am now guin to look forward to a bright future with him .there will not be any1 better then musa 4 me..i am not saying it becoz i am so madly in love with him...itz factual..alhamdulilah i see musa as a good husband and a good father...what else can i ask for he's honest. simple, humble, loyal, cool tempered, a guy without ego, a willing person and the most importantly he is super duper sincere in apologising and giving me presents and i am so sure that nobody is gonna be sincere about loving me ever...i m 1 lucky gerl....ILY! sometimes the way musa react to our certain problems can be cute especially when he start saying..."i am sori u noe sayang! it's all my fault!, kol me stupid! don't leave me k"...i feel like laughing and biting him and saying to him that i'll never leave u! allah!....

back to the storey...i am tremendously mad at her...my heart say that i am not gonna talk to her 4eva..but to think about the punishment allah swt have given to some1 that are not in good terms is tauba2...i m just gonna remain cool about it...i am gonna forgive and forget about what she have done to me....

WhAt A nIgHtmARe....

2008-11-24T06:39:00.000-08:00

Seriously...seriously..seriously...speaking.....my first dae at ward 8A was so freaking bored..the staff are not at all friendly and they all look as if they are not willing to teach us...the thought of me in the A class ward was a fantastic feeling...but the feeling of me werking in the A class ward was...a big time...YAKX!!!!!....OMG!!!...as it is most of the patients are well educated and i guess it comes with a package with thier big time demanding and ego attitude...it just got on my nerve to nurse such patients..i have no idea how m i gonna pull thru tiz last posting...despite the very fact that i have barely 13 more daez to 'survive' werking....what can be an even more scary nightmare then have to werk afternoon shift with brother Muru 2mlw...Gosh!...

Gerlfwend dae out....

2008-11-23T05:38:00.000-08:00

To my dearest chocolate cookies blog!....i had awsome time with my gerlfrends todae except that my darling sholeha was unable to attend todaez outing..poor baby gerl she is reali sick...get well soon k my dearest!..i miss u sho sho muakx gerl!..i miss the times where you and i will be all crazy in skool especially in psychiatric class....hahahax..cannot tahan seriously we can reali be so notti what to do we are known by the skool of nusing to be the gerls that is hyper despite the fact that at times the class can be dead but u n i can neva kip our mouth shut...hahaha....with all the lame jokes that u n i can think of its totally out of the world ..to make the class laugh..and the best part is that we are alwaez on to challenge the guys in sports hahaha...especially netball...those abang abang in class still dont get it that we are proz in that sport and still they got the cheek to challenge us...hahaha...you rawk la sey...cant imagine going thru my ITE daez without you......u noe i noe...wakakaka....hope 2 c u very soon and gila2 again....it felt so good to have meet them after a very long break due to our busy werking schedule n stuff...We meet up at our usual hang out...where else can that be besides fullerton starbuckz....suprisingly the barista still remember me...hahahax...awww! thatz swit la sey...ordered my usual....after mamam n all we headed to marina to have dinner at Long John...after which we went shopping for our prom over @ suntec....like finally i have decided what to wear for prom and i am very confident that i am definitely gonna look so wow! ummm..m not gonna disclose to any1 for the time being...hush! wanna kip it a secret for now and give every1 a very big surprise on that dae......hehehex...definitely todae is a dae full of updates and surprises....just gotta sey that tasneem loves her gerlfwendz.....muakz!

So FoR nOw LeT tHe PiCz Do ThE tOkInG aItEz....WiNkX*

Yummy2! slurp! burp!

gfs n mie @ fullerton stabuckz....

meow..meow!

Juz the 2 of uz!
My most precious frend....

my sis...dila!

ThE eNd!!!!!

mRs Musa In Her LaLaLaNd....

2008-11-02T06:19:00.000-08:00

FIUH!!! i am so freaking tired...the wedding at bedok CC just now was great fun...manage to catch up wit my patenal side cuzzinz n all....the best part is of course the bangra dance, hindustani band and also the delicious food...its been a long time since i last ate something oily from a wedding reception thout....while watching the bride and groom cutting their wedding cake...randomly jaan came in my mind...i was just wondering to myself...when will it be my big day..i cant wait for this major event to take place in my life...seriously...WOW!!! the feeling of marrying some1 that u love....the thought of taking care, understanding , respecting and showing that special sum1 one he is very special in ure life every single dae....is indeed a very wonderful feeling that no money can buy.....ILY Jaan!!

PSSST: THIS MAN IS WANTED!!!!

I MISS U JAAN!!!

I HOPE YOU HAD AWSOME TIME IN M'SIA....

My new sweet baby - Musa Junior!

2008-10-31T00:38:00.001-07:00

What do you think about my little new baby Musa Junior?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

iT wAs MeNd To hApPen...

2008-10-30T21:57:00.000-07:00

Been uptight with night shift for the past few daes...night shift was great fun and exciting besides the fact that i loss my beloved mobile....seriously i feel at loss w/o my mobile...i reali m so very attach to my phone for the past 1 year 10 months...and sunddenly its loss...OH GOD...i will so do anything to get my phone back la...its so much of sweet memories in it...maybe its mend to happen...i rhe'do...i juz gotta think positive...watever bad events that is gonna happen in my life have been out from my life just like the phone...like wat my dad said....i love u dad...u r the bestest dad in the whole universe...i am so lucky to have u as my dad..u alwaez make me smile by giving me great advises, craking jokes and the best part is whenever i have a very tough decision to make regarding my future..its alwaez u that i look forward to..ure my idol dad...a man with few words but lotsa action....u never sey how much amijaan, shaheen and myself mean in ure life but u alwaez choose to show one such incident which i still remember so vividly was on that faithful night amijaan and myself were just joking about wanting to eat briyani and murtabak 4rm zamzam and it was alredi late at nite u still choose to go out to buy it....to think about wat u have done for us...i own u duniya and also akhirat...

Yesterdae after coming back from my nite shift...i slept for about 4 hours and i was force to wake up to dolly up..coz dadajaan have to report to changi airport @ 5...i dragged myself to the toilet and to the dressing table....i have no idea why i wore this grand brown dress yesterdae...maybe it was a random pick 4rm my wardrobe i was to lazy to pick any other dress and since the brown dress caught my eyes so ulala.....i koled musa like i expected he got sumting on that dae...so life still have to move on w/o him rite..after putting down the phone...i ate mcdonald...weee...i just m so in love with mcdonald whenever i am feeling down mcdonald have alwaez make my dae...so then mum and i took the bus to T3 mit shaheen in the airport...dadajaan and all my cuzzins and relatives was alreadi there waiting for us eagerly...i start to salam them one by one...hahaha...so funny...there were asking me many questions regarding my life and all...the way they put the sentence is like as if when m i guin to be a big gerl blablabla.....and by looking at their sons it just make me feel so turn off..i mean they r good looking but nah no something something reaction....hehex...chey..so then i had lotsa fun carrying my baby gerl summayah...i felt like her mum hahahahx..she was so into me yesterdae..no wan was able to make her sleep exept for me....i feed her milk and sang her hasbi rabbi she was sound a sleep then....my baby boyfriend ameen was jealous...so then i bough him to secret recipe bought him cheese cake there we had a 'romantic time together' hahahaha....he and all his pre skool storeies....make me feel like a small gerl...after which time for dada to go in....i salam dada hug him tight and gave him a kiss on his forehead...i m gonna miss dada a lot...for the 1st tyme in my life i saw dada cried while hugging and kissing dadi...i noe exactly what he felt...this is the 1st tyme dada is guin outstation w/o dadi...and definetly he'll miss all his children, grandchildren and also his great grandchildren...i dhua that dada will go safely and come back safely.....

Todae...its just not my dae...i have a terrible flu, sore eyes, ulcer and m running a fever...

I WANT TO RECOVERY A.S.A.P!!!

what does tasneem reali wan....

2008-10-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

I went out to orchard juz now with my lovely mum to meet up wit dear sister since she's werking in Paragon...had lunch with her over @ Ria nasi ayam penyet lucky plaza....i had fun shopping wit mum....she can be too nice a mum seriously...I LOVE YOU AMIJAAN!!!!....after doing all my nessessery stuff upon reaching home like alwaez i'll b on the net updating my blog..friendster, youtube, msn and also reading up on my post regarding islam....as i was resting on the sofa at my living room i was asking myself a very random question....Does musa love me? is he serious about me? i dont noe y but sometyme i feel that my love for him is like a one sided love thing....where i am the only one that is giving my best for this relationship to work out smoothly....musa claim and seys that he loves me...but i cant feel it?...he sey that he care for me...but i dont think so?..if he reali do care and show concern about me...have he ever msg me out of the blue asking me if i have eaten...wheather a nt i am fine and good...he is alwaez busy with other stuff but not with me..the only tyme in the whole wide world that he'll ever tink about me is when he's about to sleep...i am upset to the fact that i am not on his prirority list at all..he sey that i am part of his life...its a lie...i have alwaez been apart 4rm his life...bcoz everything in this world comes 1st b4 me..besides me...he never sey no to others but alwaes sey no to me y?..he can go JB till late at nite wit his frends and wit brother hafiz but he never will have tyme for me y?...i am sad, dissappointed....i feel like crying....the man that i love the most is doing this to me....i seriously feel the pain deep inside...DONT TASNEEM DESERVE LOVE 4RM THE MAN SHE LOVE? I AM THIRSTY FOR URE ATTENTION? I WAN U TO BE THERE FOR ME IN MY UPs N DOWNs...WHERE WERE U? YES I AM JEALOUS WHEN I SEE MY FRENDS BOYFREND TOKING TO THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY AT ANY TYME WITHOUT BEING ASK TO BE CALLED....juz nw just b4 i decided to blog my feelings...muzhaffar msg me....i gave him some advise regarding his future plan since he asked me...suddenly he msg me seying that"tasneem the guy that u have choosen to be ure boyfrend is indeed so lucky to have you b'coz ure smart and beautiful...ure every guyz dream girl...he must have reali appreciate you rite tasneem?" i cried immedietly after receving this msg 4rm muzhaffar....

BaBy Is sCaReD...

2008-10-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

WOW!!! like finally i m blogging again...fiuh! been busy with werk and my so lovely patients...werking as a nurse can be quite a challenge with irregular shifts n all...bt who cares for now i am defenitely enjoying myself doing bedside care, talking and understanding their slightest needs and wit such nice collegue to werk with its just a great experience for me......hehex...chey wa...LOL!!! back to serious matter...yesterdae i koled hubby...i am reali happy that he is recovering from his wisdom tooth surgery..alhamdulilah..they is no words that i can describe how happy i am for him....as we were toking yesterdae....suddenly jaan asked me a random question which i felt something is not right....he ask me...."Baby u have confidence in me""i need to be prepared for a break up in the near future" i dont get it..i have no idea y he say such a thing yesterdae but i just felt uneasy about it...from the 1st dae that we are together u have alwaes been some1 that is very close to me...and i dare to promise that u r the only man

which i look upon as my husband...i thought u use to tell me that you have confident that our relationship will work out...so y the sudden change of mind jaan?..what happen to ure strong desire of wanting to marry me that u used to have?..did i do something wrong? or was it bcoz we tend to argue about some stuff?...isnt it normal that we have diffrent views on some matters..thats presiously y we r attracted to each other jaan...

psst: i wish i wish i wish upon the stars...that i culd hug u tight and tell you i love you the way u are...ALLAH....i mean every single word that i said that u stole my heart from me, i am for you, i need you etc...u noe that i m serious about what i preach...if only i can steal you from every1 for just 1 dae i wuld bring you to an island where there is only u and me....i got this feeling that musa is the only man that will take me seriously till last breath escape my lips....insyallah...ameen..

EiD 2008...

2008-10-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

I had loads of fun guin out with family for eid visiting....
let the picz do the toking.....

Mrs musa in white...

Miss Dimple Of the Year...

my lovely sis

hey thats uz again...vain pots...

lookin fierce..hmmmm...

Bluekx!!!

Tasneem loves her family....

Grandparentz n uz

TATZ ALL FOLK!!!! INSYALLAH THEY'LL BE MORE TO COME.....

NiTe Of EiD wiTh HubBy...

2008-10-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

alhamdulilah todae is alreai the 30th fasting dae....n tomorrow is gonna be a big dae for me..i cant wait...with so many happy events happening in my life now...i swear to allah that i m indeed blessed...what more can i ask almighty allah he have given me the opportunity to get to know one of his best creation of man to share my ups and downs of my life...what i can tell about my jaan so far he is definitely one in a million...n yes3..indeed i m choosen by allah to be part of his life...So well started the dae with a big smile like alwaez..like the saying goes..when there's all smilez there's tasneem...woke up a little late thout due to cleaning and stuff..fiuh! finally its over....manage to kol jaan n tok to him...I MISS HIM!!! i think he reali culd sense that i am missing him so terribly and he came up with the idea of mitting me up over at geylang...i wanted to mit him so much but i was afraid that i wuld trouble him...since he insisted i relent to him....so yap...didnt fast todae...but then there was nothing to eat at home as well...so i juz drank water n thats it...ummi when to get all her food stuff at chong pang together with my sis...they came back at about 6+...they must be dead beat...after so called breaking fast..my sis n myself dress up and make our way to the MRT..i met jaan @ about 8 +guin to be 9 around there...saw habib..hahaha...he and his stories...like forever...we had fun taking pictures,eating and toking nonsense...buying stuff and bargaining...the dae was a WOW!!! untill of course the imam saw us n all...OOPPZZ!! so yap he koled jaan n complain....bla3...didnt expect imam to be so orthodox...like alwaez it must be Jahangir and he's so BIG MOUTH again....sometyme i wonder my love story with musa is indeed like some of the hindustani movies i watch...musa being the hero of the movie..me the heroin, Jahangir the villain and of course almighty allah the sole director of our lives..hahahahax...we ended the dae with jaan sending us to the taxi stand n giving us cash for the cab..i felt bad taking his money..i m sorry jaan...walhal it was all my fault that we got delayed and missed the last train...something for sure is tyme reali flies when i spend tyme with hubby...

TASNEEM IS SOOO INTO MUSA!!!!

bIg SpLaSh..

2008-09-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Wat a tiring dae...fiuh!....washing the kitchen and all... my sis and mum join me in my quest..UHU!!! we played catching..we got all soak while cleaning the kithen..hahaha..it was FUN!!!!...Love you people....MUAKX!!!

WISHING MY SWEETIE PIE

SHAHEEN ALL THE VERY BEST IN HER 'N'LEVEL

PAPER TOMORROW.....INSYALLAH

YOU'LL DO WELL HAVE FAITH IN ALLAH SWT....

AWWW!!! SHE'S HOT!!!

Lailatu Qadar aT Malabar

2008-09-27T05:03:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulilah...todae is alreadi the 27th ramadhan and there is only like 3 more daez to go and then its time for a celebration.... WEEE!!! can start putting on all those weight that i have shead over these few daez...well about syawal tiz year...itz totally a different ting as a whole...with lovely new comers in my open book life...like musa and his family, the people whom which i noe in malabar and also my new kutti girlfriends which i have also made in malabar 4 example my sweety pie Busyhra,Azila, mariam...i just love you people..you all made my daez in malabar a memorable 1......it holds many sweet memorable moments of my life which i can never forget....one of such event is for me to have found my prince in shinning armour musa mere jaan....aitez..about todae well besides that i woke up very bery strawbery late in the afternoon due to yesterdae when to malabar mosque for lailatu qadar which i reali enjoyed myself to the max..doing ibadah in the middle of the night together with the imam, eating sahor, and praying subuh together...mashallah the feeling was superb...mere mann kehta hai ke mat ghar janna but everything that start have to come to an end..so yapz....other then that it was like a normal routined bright day...and the worst part is that i can't fast todae and of all the tyme in the world..it have to come when its just about 15 minutes before breaking fast.......haix!!! was dissappointed la....wattudu....jho khuda ki marzi....

Ok so 4 now let the picz do the talking.....

Cute and adorable!!!Busyhra

I love ure smile!!!!! can i have it...Pulezzz!!pulez..pulez...la...

RANDOM!!!!!

I MISS MY HUBBY!!!!

tHe MoSt RoMaNtIc TiMe oF mY LiFe....

2008-09-25T22:45:00.000-07:00

My MaChO HuBbY!!!!

Aitez....so yap about yesterday well what can i say...i had awsome time with hubby in short the dae was a blast...i had the most romantic dinner with hubby over @ CCK he look a little fatigue but he is just as HOT and DASHING!!! as ever...seriously...he just made my dae with his ever sincere smile...the moment i saw him like alwaez my heart will go "dup2" he fetch me 4rm the yishun MRT isnt he swweet!!! mUakx!! after which we when to CCK to have our dinner..manage to catch up on the latest updates in our lives..hmm...then he went back home to get some of his belonging for his overnight programe over at bro hafiz place....like forever i'll insist in taking the bus back home...i just love bus rides...its just lovely aint they...hehehex...moving on...so then he took out his laptop and show me his family photos...for a moment he made me feel so honoured to be part of his so warmth family....its a fact that i love him and his family as my very own...aitez moving on back to the storey..ehem2...we reach yishun a little late..but then i had no worries as my macho hubby is they to protect me...it was actuali my 1st time coming back home late...i thought i will get a good scolding 4rm ummi but surprisingly she didnt scold me....hahahax..bluekx*...maybe bcoz she noe i was with musa and yap without doubt ummi trust him...something that hubby did that touched myheart was that he send me till my door step...just to make sure that i am in safe hands @ home with my family....ever step he took back home yesterdae was me telling him not to leave me....i just can't imagine life without him...he taught me how to love...i am indebted to him for the rest of my life.....

p/s: Despite the fact that u r extremely tired yesterdae u still insisted in guin out on a date with me...u r super duper sweett jaan...remember you ask me yesterdae over the phone what is the special quality in you that i see....frankly speaking i feel every single thing about you is special...

*Ure honesty...

*Ure sincerity...

*Ure willingness to sacrfice for me...

*Ure loyalty...

*Ure calmness...

*Ure trustworthyness...

*The way u tell me how much i mean to u...

*the way u care for my slightest needs..

*the way u look and stare deep into my eyes...

*And definitely the way you alwaez entertain my nonsence and manjaness...

jaAn's ViSiT tO mY hOuSe.....

2008-09-25T01:55:00.000-07:00

WEEEE!!! guess what...yesterday musa came to my house i was suppose to update my blog then but..grrr..was kinda busy cooking chicken curry and prawn sambal for my hubby...didnt noe i was good at cooking untill he commented..hehehex..bluekx*..i was so extremely happy finally after 4 long days i get to see my handsome hubby's face again the last tyme i saw him was when we went out to geylang to buke with my famili...yayaya..4 days seems like a short period but..NAH..to me 4 days without seeing him is like 4 years can u imagine how much i love him..quda janne..aniwaez back to the story he was suppose to come to my house for buke @ latest 6 but then seems like the painter at brother hafiz house finish the painting late so end up he came at about 7.30....i swear i was not angry or anything in fact i was so touched to see him getting down the taxi...he is super sweet la....can u imagine he took a taxi just to reach my house earlier....he is just simply tooooo cute a person...muakx! so yap he ate...then he chatted with my family...hmm..he seem to have had lots of fun talking to my family members..and the best part is they seem to be able to get along well with each other..alhamdulilah..i reali thankz allah for my family treat him just like their own...especially my sister bhaijaan here and bhaijaan there...ok ya watever i am fat...i am cool with it tell me about it...hahahahax...then the sad part like alwaez its time for hubby to go for his teraweh prayer @ malabar so yap gave him the kueh i made..try insisting for him to go abit late...but what to do duty to allah have to come 1st so then he took a cab to malabar..its all my fault..oppzzz sowee..but deep down my heart i understand baby...so no worries aitez..winkz* and what can be an even more pleasent surprise then to be able to see him todae as well....so yappies....guess i'll now go and doll up for my date with hubby and like alwaez i'll be expecting something from my baby boy later for he'll alwaez come out with all kinda surprises to make my day..in fact u have alwaez did...I LOVE YOU!!!

p/s: You will alwaez be my jaan....you are alreadi part of me and i cannot afford to loss you @ any cost..insyallah we shall go thru tough time and happy times of our lives together...its all predestinied by allah the almighty that we get to meet each other in malabar on the 21 march 2008...Now that i know deep within my heart that you are my mr right without doubt..i will make sure that i'll treasure our relationship....til death pull us a part...

Shokran lillahi....

2008-09-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulilah i reali cannot wait for syawal to come at the same time i am sad as the holy month of ramadhan is guin to depart...never know if i am able to get the next ramadhan..insyallah..today was a day that is full of emotions and feelings...was thinking very intensely about how bless and lucky i am....Mashallah...what allah swt have given me is indeed something that is priceless...there is seriously nothing in this world that i genuinely feel i should complain about...i am just termendously happy to be leading a blessed and simple life...to start of with he almighty allah have given me a very happy family that is alwaez beside me in whatever choice and decision i have made....i love my family..they mean everything to me...as i am writing now...tears are rolling down my cheek...i just could't resist...how much they have given me without expecting anything in return...i know deep down my heart the love that they have for me is ever true and ever lasting...

p/s: Ya allah my prayers for my beloved parents now and always...is for you to forgive them for whatever mistake that they have ever made in their lifetime...and ya allah please make them part of al-jannah...Ameen..